What is an Aspie writer?
Simply—a writer with Asperger's
Syndrome (AS), and in my case, someone who writes about AS. While I am working
on my non-fiction book about my life with undiagnosed AS, I will be sharing my
trials and triumphs, joys and frustrations, and everything in between. I plan
to take you all on the ride with me through writing, editing, revision,
rewriting, and publication.
I have been writing for years, and
like many other writers have stacks of unfinished manuscripts thrown in boxes,
file folders, and on back-up computer hard drives. They are sitting there
waiting for me to pick them back up and finish them.
About a year ago, I began writing my
first Young Adult (YA) fictional novel, The
Protectors. I wrote it in its entirety in approximately 90 days. It was a
250,000 word mess! That’s when I realized I needed help, and resolved to write my
story the right way—this is where my writing journey began. I purchased
as many books about writing as I could get my hands on. I read, read, read, and
then read some more.
I enrolled in continuing education classes,
writing workshops, and Southern New Hampshire University (SNHU),
online, to finish the BA in English that I started in 1991. I had no way of
knowing that English classes would ultimately lead me to the most important
discovery of my life.
It took 38 years to learn that I am not
crazy, depressed, agoraphobic, or bipolar (only a couple of labels I lugged
around over the years). I am autistic. My often serious sensory issues where
often dismissed as being picky, a primadonna, spoiled, the princess and the
pea--you get the idea. My parents missed it, the school system dismissed it,
and doctors misdiagnosed it; life was not easy. No-one listened; no-one
understood; I felt completely insane, and completely alone. I never heard of Asperger’s
Syndrome; not until I took my first Literature class at SNHU.
My husband pointed out a character
in a novel I was reading that had Asperger’s Syndrome and said, “That’s you!” I ignored him. He told my doctor. I ignored my doctor. I didn’t want that to be me, although, I already
knew they were right. Two semester’s later, I wrote a research paper on
American Idioms, which have never made any sense to me.
Phrases like, "Don't count your
chicken's before their hatched," drive me nuts! If you are counting
chickens, they have already hatched! As a school girl, idioms like these
were met with the roll of my eyes followed by a long monologue of why it made
no sense. Needless to say, this did not
go over well with my second grade teacher.
I no longer roll my eyes, now I just grit my teeth together and bear it;
well—most of the time.
My research project started
innocently enough. I studied how young children learn the English language, and
often misinterpret idioms and metaphors. I discussed the Amelia Bedelia children’s book series by Peggy Parish, one of my eight year’s
favorites (ok—mine too!), which depicts a literal-minded housekeeper who
continually misinterprets her employers instructions with comical effect. I was plodding
along just fine when my research took a sharp left turn that I never intended
to make. Before long I found myself up to my ears in autism and language
studies, and different techniques utilized to help young students with Asperger’s
Syndrome to understand figurative speech.
I was absorbed for days. Denial
flew out the window; I could no longer logically justify it. Two weeks later, I had already consumed over a
dozen books about Autism and AS. Ignorance is NOT bliss!
The discovery of my "condition"
has been life changing; finally, everything makes sense. However, putting on a
new set of glasses and looking back at your entire life though those lenses is
straining on the eyes, and the emotions. Don't feel sorry for me though-- I am
one of those Aspies who maintain that I would not give up my autism for
anything. "Take away Autism completely, and you take away Genius!" ~
Rudy Simone, Aspergirls.
Besides, I have superpowers! That is
what we say in my house. They are my supersonic senses. My son calls them my spidey-senses. I can hear what others
cannot, smell what no-one else does, taste every ingredient used in a recipe
and then recreate it, and feel the slightest change in temperature or humidity.
I can focus for hours, and if left to my own devices—for days. I just need to
do it with earplugs in and sunglasses on. And, yes, I forget to eat, and interruptions
infuriate me. Especially, when I am interrupted
by my own bladder, it should know better. My autism is a blessing, and it's a curse—but
it's mine.
My book, Reflections of Me, should be finished and ready to be released by
the end of the year IF I do not get
side tracked. I hope you enjoyed my
first ever blog posting, and stick
with me through my writing adventures.
Looking forward to reading more. I think we have a bit in common. I don't know if I would get a diagnosis but I empathise with much of what you write.
ReplyDeleteWow! An Aspie! I'm only bipolar. :( But I know what you mean about missed diagnoses and misdiagnoses. Once we figured out that I'm not just some giddy creature with tons of energy half the time and a depressed wreck the rest of the time, it was almost a relief. Well, a relief once the denial was over!
ReplyDeleteMy first blog is called The Bipolar Express, but it's more about documenting my issues and personal life rather than for my writing.
Isn't it great that we live in a time when there is an abundant amount of information available about our different disorders? (And hey, why are they called "disorders", anyway? Isn't this just how WE happen to be "ordered"?) Oh well, I am medicated into near normalcy - or as much as passes for it. It hinders my writing sometimes, I think. The bipolar highs made for some hilarious writings in the past, and the bipolar lows made for some extremely deep and reflective writings. Now I have to try harder...but I feel better. So it's a trade off.
Glad to see your blog, Jeannie!
Hey Kimberley,
ReplyDeleteYou are exactly right! We are ordered differently. Unfortunately, the doctors medicated me so much at one point that it threw me into an episode of psychotic mania! That's when they decided I was bi-polar; I was not. Tossing all the meds fixed my mania problem, which should have told the doctors that bi-polarity was not the issue.
I did read a fantastic book by Tom Wootton, (just pulled it off my bookshelf in front of me) called "The Bipolar Advantage". Tom gives a unique perspective on his condition, and talks about how his hypo-mania helps his writing and productivity. I enjoyed it very much. Although the diagnosis was incorrect for me, my bout with medication-induced mania allowed me to really understand the author.
Our disabilities are just different abilities! Hope you will stay with me through my writing adventures.
Jeannie
Hi Jeannie,
ReplyDeleteSorry, I just got around to reading this today. I do remember seeing the title of your blog and not really understanding what it was all about - until today. You HAVE to read my blog entry (on my non-SNHU blog) as I have made my own important discovery, quite by accident, as you did. I think you'll find it of interest!
http://fullwithtomorrow.wordpress.com/2012/08/11/on-one-condition/
Loved the blog! I knew there were more Aspie Writers out there!
ReplyDeleteWell you sound pretty normal top me! Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteI am the same way...I just thought I was extra sensitive to everything...
Gwen :}
Definitely makes you stop and wonder...
Delete