Angry Frazzled Mommy
I need this T-shirt!
It has been a crappy day, and for
no particular reason that I can put my finger on. I woke up this morning to the stupid dog
barking his head off, and felt incredibly sorry that I agreed/ no advocated, to
get my Aspie Teen a dog. I am beginning
to hate that dog. He doesn’t want to be
trained, chews up everything he can get his teeth into, and barks, howls and
yelps until all hours of the morning.
Then for some God only knows why reason,
I try to find my shoes to bring my middle son to school, and I discover I have
only one black flip flop by the door, and only one black slipper. So is someone eating one of each shoe? Is that what is going on today?
I asked earlier this week that
someone put the laundry away after I spent two days cleaning everything in the
house. No one did. So that is why I couldn’t find my little guy’s socks before
school and had to dig into the laundry buckets instead of opening a draw where
they should have been neatly folded.
Hubby said last night before I feel
asleep, well passed out is more an accurate description because I haven’t been
feeling good, that he would run out and get the baby juice. I don’t want to give him much milk because he
is sick too. I woke and there was no
juice; I guess he forgot. So I dropped by the supermarket on my way home from dropping
little man off at school.
I’ve been angry ever since.
I’m yelling at Aspie Teen because I
can’t take things being all over the floor.
I feel like all I do is vacuum, vacuum, and vacuum some more. Then when I look down there are more crumbs
sprawled out everywhere. I am losing my
mind.
There are still boxes unpacked, and
I am coming unglued.
Aspie Teen is not doing his school
work fast enough for my taste today, so I am screaming. More mess on the floor, so I am
screaming. Hubby didn’t make phone calls
he needed to, so I am screaming.
Screaming, screaming, screaming, and screaming some more. Why I am so damn angry today? Why am I losing
my ability to cope today? I’m frustrated.
I’m sad. I’m feeling terribly guilty for all my yelling, and yet all I
want to do is yell some more!
It seems no matter what I do, no
matter how hard I try, I really suck at homemaking. I can’t keep to a budget for any period of
time. The house work always gets away
from me, and the chaos causes me not to be able to think.
Today, I feel like I want to
escape, I want to run away, I don’t want to stay in the house 24/7 anymore, but
what can I do? Really? Nothing. So that is where I am at, feeling
helpless.
And helpless = angry. I may have
anger management issues.
“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes,
they win.” —Stephen
King
